In an elephant park, several elephants were present. They were never caged or held with hefty chains. Visitors often appreciated how the enormous elephants were gently tied by a rope to a wooden stump. They all seemed content; grazing, lazing or nibbling the fresh grass. All looked calm and relaxed.
A curious passer-by wondered how they could be restrained by such a short leash. The wooden stump also looked feeble for such a huge mammal. To this, replied the authorities, “ We raised them as calves and many are born here. As they were little, we used a short rope to restrain them to the stump and it was good enough to keep them bound. They would tug by could not break free. Perhaps, they formed a belief system that the rope was stronger than their might hence even though they are grown up and huge they do not attempt to tug or drag away.”
As a psychologist, so many layers efface when clients reach out to me. A child repeatedly would tell me, “ Maam, I don’t want art, I am clumsy.” Was that a loose remark by someone whom the child looked upon which is now etched in his belief system? Another middle aged client told me, “ I am childish.” Is it his negative self-talk?
Where does this self-doubt stem from? Is it because of conditioning, a moment of weakness, the need for external validation or a failure?
As humans we face challenges, but then all problems come with solutions. What is your belief system which induces such negative self-talk? List them, challenge the irrational beliefs, bring out a new perspective, work on the goals and liberate yourself.
Yank away from the short leash!
Seek a therapist, add positive self-talk and happiness.
You are important, capable and you are here to STAY!