Helping your child gain confidence

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A very Happy 2019 to all of you. Existence is based on CONFIDENCE.

Confidence is the ability to do things with ease. To be at ease is natural for some and for others it is a matter of building confidence. Many times parents come to me with low confidence issues in their children as young as three years of age. The lack of confidence can be due to several reasons. This could be stemming out of nutritional deficiencies that curbs alertness, developmental delays or also psycho-social issues which needs to be addressed with a professional visit to a counselling psychologist.

Lack of confidence is seen in their body language, speech, academics, avoidance of social exposure or expression of needs to name a few.

Here are a few ways by which you can improve the confidence in your child :

Step 1

Make time for your child

Make time for your child and understand the reasons why they are unable to express in public or take up new activities. Is it just a matter of social anxiety or there are deeper issues? The earlier this is addressed there will be benefits. For the same, the initiative should be from the parents or caregivers. Do not hesitate to address the same with professional counselling.

Step 2        

Relax and be a role model

Talk to your child in a relaxed manner. Talk about your childhood when you were low in confidence. Do not stop here. Tell them how you overcame it. This way they will emulate your approach, as you as a parent are their ultimate role models. Let them tell you about how they have tried to overcome a problem ( or have avoided it) and how they felt when they were apprehensive. Give them a few tools to overcome it e.g. enroll them in a activity class to enhance their skill.

Step 3

Appreciate their talents

Kids are endowed with talents. The pressure mounts up when they are forced and expected to be multi-talented. Find out the areas where the child is excelling. It could be a sport or an art activity. This talent needs to be praised, appreciated and also expressed before an audience. This will go a long way to boost their morale and slowly they will try out newer ways to express other skills.Abhijeet and Namrata Chapolkar are proud parents of Tanishka. They say,  “We let her take the initiative and let her try one more time. For guidance, we are always available. This gives her the confidence to be herself.”

 Step 4

Let them move their own mountain

Parents unknowingly build a protective wall that the children feel cozy in. This threatens their independence and they overtly seek approval and encouragement every time they seek exposure. Small tasks need to be given to children from a very early age. Regimes and routines need to be followed with discipline. This ensures a good personality from the beginning.

Also, do remember parenting also means constantly learning, changing and accepting new avenues.

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